


I'd Kiss a Frog for You

by lilsamarooo



Series: The Witcher Prompt Fics [2]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Cursed Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Prompt Fic, True Love's Kiss, literally the slightest bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24777271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilsamarooo/pseuds/lilsamarooo
Summary: Prompt: A magical toad begins talking to you, but you're the only one who can hear him.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: The Witcher Prompt Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787938
Comments: 8
Kudos: 117





	I'd Kiss a Frog for You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm an idiot who somehow read the prompt wrong, so Jaskier can't hear the frog talking, but Yennefer can. I also spent ten minutes trying to figure out if it's spelled "ribbit" or "ribbet", so if I was wrong, my bad lol. Happy reading!

❧

“Geralt?” Jaskier set aside his lute and slowly stood up as the bushes at the edge of the camp started to rustle. The Witcher had left before sunset to deal with a witch that’d been terrorizing the townspeople. That was hours ago, and it was nearly midnight now.  _ What if there’s bandits hiding in the trees? _ “If this is a joke, you aren’t getting kisses for a week!” Silence. And then, from the depths of the shuddering bush came a loud…

_ Ribbit? _

A frog hopped out of the bushes and came to stop next to Jaskier, whose jaw had dropped. The frog was  _ white _ . Did albino frogs even exist? Surely he would have heard of such a thing during his time at Oxenfurt. Another curious thing was that the frog didn’t seem to be afraid of Roach, who’d come to stand beside Jaskier and snuffle at the small creature. After a moment of staring, Jaskier shrugged and picked his lute back up. “Well Roach, at least you can eat it as a snack. Can horses eat frogs? I’ll ask Geralt when he comes back.”

As soon as Jaskier had said Geralt’s name, the frog began to croak wildly, much to the bard’s horror. “Oh gods- quiet down! You’ll bring predators right into camp,” Jaskier accused, and the frog thankfully shut up. Actually that was a bit weird. Was it possible… no. He would not make a fool of himself by talking to a frog.

Before the frog could suck in another lungful of air to start its horrid racket, Jaskier scooped it up and trapped it in his hands, before immediately dropping it at the feel of a sticky tongue on the inside of his hands. “ _ Eww! _ ” He most certainly did  _ not  _ squeal, and all but threw the white frog away from him. The annoying thing landed on its back and stayed there, prompting Jaskier to inch closer and check if it was still alive.  _ Oh, I didn’t want to kill it! I’m so mean- _ his thoughts were cut off when the frog suddenly leapt up to land directly on his forehead. An ear splitting scream filled the clearing as Jaskier ripped the frog off and held it from one of its hind legs, watching it dangle in the air pathetically.

“You little  _ shit! _ I should stomp you under my boot for that! Better yet, I should make  _ Roach _ stomp on you!” The mare gave an annoyed snort from the other end of the clearing, having moved when Jaskier began shouting loud enough to wake the dead. Looking slightly intimidated, the frog stopped trying to twist its leg out of the bard’s grasp, and resigned itself to its fate. After giving the horrible creature a small shake, he set it down a few feet away from himself and huffed. That he bard didn’t feel like playing his lute anymore, and he was really starting to worry about his Witcher. Turning to Roach with a small sigh, he hugged his knees and rested his head on them. “Roach, what if Geralt’s hurt? I don’t even know where he is,” he said, his bottom lip starting to tremble. “I wish he’d just let me come with him, because then I could at least know if he’s  _ alive  _ or not…” Small sniffles escaped the bard as he wiped away the tears rolling down his cheeks.

Beside him, the white frog let out a low croak. Jaskier hadn’t even realized it’d come closer, and he found that he was too upset to even scowl at it. The bard sat and waited until the sun had begun to rise over the horizon, and the sight made his chest squeeze until his breath hiccuped in his throat. “He isn’t coming back by himself, is he?” the bard whispered, his face buried in Roach’s mane. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen, but he could still see the frog from last night sitting on a rock a few feet away, silent and staring at him with beady amber eyes.

“I have to go after him.” The bard didn’t know if he was talking to the frog or himself at that point, but the only thing that mattered was finding his Witcher. Standing up, he saddled Roach and grabbed her reins before freezing as the strange frog croaked and hopped towards the trees, looking back at Jaskier to…  _ see if I’m following? It can’t be, _ he thought, staring at the creature with his mouth hanging open. “Do you… want me to follow you?” the bard asked, past the point of caring if he looked like a fool or not.

A ribbit and another hop towards the trees.

“You can understand me? Two ribbits for yes, one for no.”

Two ribbits this time, and Jaskier couldn’t stop the disbelieving gasp from leaving him.

“Are you a magic frog- no, that’s not helpful,” he cut himself off, clearing his head with a shake. “Do you know where Geralt is?”

Two ribbits, plus two more right after.  _ I think that means “yes!” and not just “yes.”, _ Jaskier thought, feeling hope rise in his chest.

“Can you take me to him?”

The frog began to hop towards the trees, ribbiting all the way, and Jaskier hurriedly followed with Roach. As he was led deeper into the unknown forest by a  _ frog _ , the bard started to wonder if this was maybe a bad idea. Didn’t witches have familiars? What if this frog was only sent to lure Jaskier into her trap? He realized the frog had stopped when it gave an alarmed croak, leaping out of the spot Jaskier’s foot had stepped on a moment later.

“Apologies,” the bard mumbled distractedly. Geralt’s armor and swords were on the ground in front of a run down cottage, covered in dust and dried blood. Jaskier felt a shiver of fear run up his spine, and he crouched down gathering his Witcher’s things, putting them away on Roach, who stomped her hoof nervously at the sight of the cottage. Even Jaskier could feel the sharp tingle of residual magic in the air surrounding it.

The cottage itself was nothing special. Cracked windows let the bard see into a dark hallway and kitchen, and the front door was half blasted off, hanging on by one squealing hinge, blowing back and forth in the wind. Scorch marks in the dirt and the sides of the walls showed that someone had thrown a fireball at the other opponent and missed entirely, possibly because of an injury or fatigue.  _ Geralt was injured by the Kikimora from his last hunt,  _ an evil little voice in his head said. “Shut up,” the bard whispered fiercely, wiping roughly at his eyes. “He’ll be fine!”

A glint of metal in the sunlight caught Jaskier’s eye and he turned to see the strange frog playing with something in the dirt.  _ Geralt’s medallion? _ He’d never seen Geralt take it off, not even to bathe. He scooped up the frog, shuddering at the feel of its slimy skin, and gawked at the sight of the medallion it’d somehow managed to get around its neck. You know, with the medallion on and the frog’s white skin and amber eyes, it kind of looked like…

“ _ Geralt?”  _ Jaskier asked incredulously, eyes widening to the size of saucers.

Two annoyed sounding ribbits sounded from the frog, and the bard heaved a sigh of relief. “Oh, it really is you,” he said, hugging the frog-  _ Geralt _ to his chest and listening to him making strangled croaks. “How do I change you back?” He asked, setting his partner down on Roach’s back, and standing back to take in the sight. Geralt, the size of a hand, stuck in the body of a  _ frog _ , sitting on top of his horse. A hysterical laugh bubbled out of his throat and he clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle his giggles when Geralt turned to glare at him with beady yellow eyes. If frogs could look furious, this would be the face.

Jaskier’s giggles faded as he thought about what they should do next. Did Geralt still have that xenovox thing that Yennefer gave him? Rummaging through Roach’s saddlebags, he whooped triumphantly and held up the small box. As he slid his fingers along the edges, trying to find a way to activate it, his nail pressed down on a button with a small  _ click _ , and a staticky sound came from within the box.

“Uhm… Yenn, if you’re heading this, we need a portal to get to you. It’s an emergency,” he added, choking back giggles as Geralt ribbited furiously in the background. It was only a few minutes before a bright circle opened up before the bard, causing him to scramble back in shock. Nobody came through, so he took Roach’s reins in one hand and a struggling Geralt in the other, and stepped through the portal. “I know you don’t like portals, Geralt, but we don’t have any other choice because  _ someone _ got turned into a frog!”

Leading Roach through the portal, he found himself inside a cozy living room. A fireplace kept the room comfortably warm and blankets were strewn about on the many couches and chairs. On one of those chairs, Yennefer sat with a glass of wine in one hand and a book in the other, looking very annoyed. “Jaskier. Why have you brought a horse and a frog into my house?”

The bard scoffed. “Like it was my fault. You were the one that conjured the portal inside. And this isn’t just any frog,” he said, smirking as Geralt ribbited in his hand. “It’s-”

“Geralt?” the sorceress interrupted, eyes wide in shock, and Jaskier sighed.

“Can I have  _ one thing _ ? Also, how did you know that the frog is Geralt without me telling you?”

Yennefer looked at him, one eyebrow raised delicately. “He told me just now,” she said, as if that explained anything.

“What.”

“I can understand his ribbits. You can’t?”

“...no,” he grumbled, trying not to get jealous over a damn  _ frog _ . It didn’t matter that Yennefer could understand Geralt because Jaskier and Geralt were dating anyway.  _ Does that mean I’m dating a frog now? Oh gods.  _ “Can you just turn him back?” Jaskier asked, getting slightly annoyed. His head was pounding because of his crying session last night, and he hadn’t slept at all. Perhaps Yennefer sensed he wasn’t in the mood for teasing because her tone turned more serious.

“I can, but this is a very old spell and reversing it could be extremely dangerous. The safer option is true love’s kiss.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the bard closed his eyes. “Like in the fairytale? So I have to…”

“...kiss the frog, yes.” Geralt, who’d been silent throughout this interaction, started croaking, and Yennefer made an amused noise in response, which, okay, not everyone can speak frog! Jaskier knew he was being slightly cranky, but he was allowed to because it’d been a long day.

“I’m going to get Roach to the stables,” he said a little harsher than he’d intended, turning to the mare and taking her reins. “Feel free to fill me in whenever you two are finished.” He turned and led Roach out of the room, walking faster when he heard more croaking and laughter coming from the sorceress.

❧

“What if Yenn can understand Geralt because she’s his true love? What happens if I kiss him and he doesn’t change back?” the bard asked, braiding Roach’s mane and sighing sadly. Roach looked at him as if to say " _You really believe that?_ ". Five minutes later, a noise came from his pocket and he realized he still had the xenovox with him.

“Jaskier, come back. We’re ready for Geralt to be changed back into human form.” Well, it was now or never. Walking back into the living room, he saw Yennefer looking at him with a smirk, and he frowned.

“What? What did you do?” he asked suspiciously, looking down at himself to check that everything was as it should be. Last time the sorceress had looked at him like that, she’d changed his hair to a lavender purple. He’d pulled it off amazingly, but that wasn’t the point.

“I took it upon myself to kiss the frog, but nothing happe-”

“You kissed the frog?” Jaskier most certainly did  _ not _ screech. “You kissed  _ my  _ frog ?”

“Yes, but nothing happened, as you can see,” she said, glancing at Geralt, who’d moved to sit on a cushion, croaking angrily at her.

Jaskier took a deep breath and walked over to the frog, kneeling down and scooping him up into his hands. “Geralt, if you give me warts I will never forgive you,” the bard warned. Seeing Yennefer staring at the two curiously, he gestured for her to turn around, rolling his eyes. “A little privacy, please?”

Scoffing, the sorceress complied, and Jaskier turned back to Geralt.  _ Here goes nothing…  _

Pressing his lips to cold, slimy skin, Jaskier barely resisted the urge to gag. Nothing happened after a moment, and the bard peeked out of one eye, seeing Geralt still in frog form, looking at him in confusion. He pulled away, trying not to cry and ignoring the pitying look Yennefer gave him. Of course she’d turned back around the second he wasn’t looking.

“It didn’t work,” the bard said quietly, putting Geralt back down on the cushion and getting to his feet. “I don’t… I thought I was his-” he cut himself off, squeezing his eyes shut. A soft croak came from the cushion, but Jaskier couldn’t bring himself to look at the frog. Just as he was gathering up the energy to step out of the room and wallow somewhere privately, he heard Yennefer gasp. He opened his eyes, staring at her in confusion, but she wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at… Geralt?

“Jaskier,” a gravelly voice said from behind him, and he knew that voice! He  _ loved  _ that voice! Whipping around, the bard sobbed in relief as he was pulled into a warm embrace. Geralt wrapped them both in a blanket and Jaskier realized that  _ oh, Geralt's not wearing any clothes, _ but that didn’t matter because he wasn’t dating a frog anymore!

“Geralt!” Jaskier whispered, burying his face in the older man’s shoulder.

“It did work,” the Witcher said softly, and Jaskier pulled back a little, looking at him in confusion. “The kiss. It worked, little lark. You will  _ always  _ be my true love.”

Holding back another wave of tears at the words, Jaskier smiled so hard that his cheeks hurt when Geralt pressed a kiss onto his forehead. He could see Yennefer smiling at the two of them out of the corner of his eye, and he mouthed a “thank you”, watching as she nodded and left them alone, closing the door softly behind her.

Jaskier pulled away from Geralt and wiped his eyes, giggling. “I’m glad I’m not dating a frog anymore. My lips have been tainted by kissing frog skin.”

The Witcher’s eyes darkened and he smirked. “Well then maybe I should kiss them until-”

“ _ Geralt!  _ Is that a  _ wart? _ ”

“...fuck.”

❧

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos + Comments and feedback are all appreciated!


End file.
